Why I am an Atheist Who Believes in God

Caught between the beauty of his grandchildren and grief at a friend’s death, Frank Schaeffer finds himself simultaneously believing and not believing—an atheist who prays. In Why I am an Atheist Who Believes in God, Schaeffer wrestles with faith and disbelief sharing his innermost debate with the poignant lyricism only a great writer of literary nonfiction can achieve. Schaeffer writes as an imperfect son, husband and grandfather whose adoration of his family, love and art trumps the ugly theologies of an angry God.

“The new book, ‘Why I Am an Atheist Who Believes in God,’ is [a] distillation of wisdom.” Washington Post (June 12, 2014)

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The God Trilogy

Crazy for God

By the time he was nineteen, Frank Schaeffer’s parents, Francis and Edith Schaeffer, had achieved global fame as bestselling evangelical authors and speakers, and Frank had joined his father on the evangelical circuit. He would go on to speak before thousands in arenas around America, publish his own evangelical bestseller, and work with such figures as Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Dr. James Dobson. But all the while Schaeffer felt increasingly alienated, precipitating a crisis of faith that would ultimately lead to his departure—even if it meant losing everything. With honesty, empathy, and humor, Schaeffer delivers “a brave and important book” (Andre Dubus III, author of House of Sand and Fog)—both a fascinating insider’s look at the American evangelical movement and a deeply affecting personal odyssey of faith.

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“Interesting glimpses into the burgeoning religious right folded into a deeply personal memoir...Schaeffer is brutally honest...He offers particularly eye-opening accounts of his personal encounters with the likes of Pat Robertson, James Dobson et al...Candid, sometimes angry and clearly cathartic for the author.”

— Kirkus Reviews on Crazy for God

“A story about the dangers of inauthentic faith...An important book...A cautionary tale about the damaging effects on children whose parents have an excess of spiritual pride.”

— Washington Times on Crazy for God

Patience with God

Frank Schaeffer has a problem with Dawkins, Hitchens, Harris, Dennett, and the rest of the New Atheists—the self-anointed “Brights.” He also has a problem with the Rick Warrens and Tim LaHayes of the world. The problem is that he doesn’t see much of a difference between the two camps. As Schaeffer puts it, they “often share the same fallacy: truth claims that reek of false certainties. I believe that there is an alternative that actually matches the way life is lived rather than how we usually talk about belief. Sparing no one and nothing, including himself and his fiery evangelical past, and invoking subtleties too easily ignored by the pontificators, Schaeffer adds much-needed nuance to the conversation. “My writing has smoked out so many individuals who seem to be thinking about the same questions. I hope that this book will provide a meeting place for us, the scattered refugees of what I’ll call The Church of Hopeful Uncertainty.”

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Sex, Mom, & God

Alternating between laugh-out-loud scenes from his childhood and acidic ruminations on the present state of an America he and his famous fundamentalist parents helped create, bestselling author Frank Schaeffer asks what the Glenn Becks and the Rush Limbaughs and the paranoid fantasies of the “right-wing echo chamber” are really all about. Here’s a hint: sex. The unforgettable central character in Sex, Mom, and God is the author’s far-from-prudish evangelical mother, Edith, who sweetly but bizarrely provides startling juxtapositions of the religious and the sensual thoughout Schaeffer’s childhood. She was, says Frank Schaeffer, “the greatest illustration of the Divine beauty of Paradox I’ve encountered … a fundamentalist living a double life as a lover of beauty who broke all her own judgmental rules in favor of creativity.”

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Other Nonfiction by Frank Schaeffer

Keeping Faith

In 1998, Frank Schaeffer was a bohemian novelist living in "Volvo driving, higher-education worshipping" Massachusetts with two children graduated from top universities. Then his youngest child, straight out of high school, joined the United States Marine Corps. Written in alternating voices by eighteen-year-old John and his father, Frank, Keeping Faith takes readers in riveting fashion through a family's experience of the Marine Corps: from being broken down and built back up on Parris Island (and being the parent of a child undergoing that experience), to the growth of both father and son and their separate reevaluations of what it means to serve. From Frank's realization that among his fellow soccer dads "the very words ‘boot camp' were pejorative, conjuring up ‘troubled youths at risk'" ("'But aren't they all terribly southern?' asked one parent") to John's learning that "the Marine next to you is more important than you are," Keeping Faith — a New York Times bestseller — is a fascinating and personal examination of issues of class, duty, and patriotism.

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Faith of Our Sons

In Faith of Our Sons, Frank Schaeffer picks up his family's ongoing story as Corporal John Schaeffer is deployed to the Middle East on the day Gulf War II begins. Schaeffer's moving and timely account of the universal experience of losing a child— either temporarily or permanently—to war and his attendant emotions (from pride to panic to rage and back again) is punctuated throughout by the voices of the many others in Frank's situation, thousands of parents and children, who continue to pour their hearts out to the Schaeffers in countless letters since the publication of Keeping Faith—from those waiting anxiously for loved ones to come home to those who know they never will. No other book addresses the more intimate, but in some ways just as difficult and heroic side of the wartime experience: that of those waiting at home, praying for the safety of their loved ones.

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Voices from the Front

Frank Schaeffer draws on his relationships with America's military families to gather a timely and powerful collection of writing from the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Voices from the Fronttakes us directly to the often invisible front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan: from first deployment to patrols to combat to field hospitals and, in some cases, homecoming. As Schaeffer has written of a group he has come to think of—politics apart—as the next greatest generation, "We need to know the men and women in combat better and to understand what they are going through." Powerful, moving and undeniable, Voices from the Front tells the story of this war in the voices of the Americans who are living—and dying—in it every day.

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AWOL

In America, it is increasingly the case that the people who make, support, or protest military policy have no military experience. As Kathy Roth-Douquet and Frank Schaeffer assert in this groundbreaking work, the gap between the "all-volunteer military" and the rest of us is widening, and our country faces a dangerous lack of understanding between those in power and those who defend our way of life.

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The Calvin Becker Trilogy

Portofino

Calvin is the son of a missionary family, and their trip to Portofino is the highlight of his year. But even in the seductive Italian summer, the Beckers can't really relax. Calvin's father could slip into a Bad Mood and start hurling potted plants at any time. His mother has an embarrassing habit of trying to convert "pagans" on the beach. And his sister Janet has a ski sweater and a miniature Bible in her luggage, just in case the Russians invade and send them to Siberia. His dad says everything is part of God's plan. But this summer, Calvin has some plans of his own ... Portofino is the prequel to the noted trilogy that includes Zermatt. A huge bestseller, Portofino has been translated into seven languages.

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Zermatt

It is 1966, and Ralph and Elsa Becker, Reformed Presbyterian missionaries from Kansas, are stationed in Switzerland, and on a modest ski vacation with their three children: tyrannical eighteen-year-old Janet, angelic Rachael, and our narrator, the irrepressible Calvin, who puzzles over his sisters' bras, as they hang on a line hidden away "so that I could not get a good look unless I ducked under the sheets ... to the feminine heart of the laundry maze." But at the Hotel Riffelberg, high above Zermatt, Calvin falls into the hands of a waitress who, while bringing him his breakfast each morning, serially initiates him into ecstasies he can barely comprehend. The resulting family crisis triggers a larger crisis of faith in his fundamentalist father, leading to a climax, which rips Calvin out of his childhood. With echoes of Irving and Roth and its own uniquely human voice, Zermatt is a coming-of-age gem.

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Saving Grandma

Calvin Becker's family have survived and persisted as Bible-thumping missionaries; it's their duty to spread the Word to everyone they meet. But now, having weathered a crisis precipitated by the godless Swiss, they face an even greater spiritual challenge right in their own home: Grandma. Foulmouthed, foul-tempered, and heathen through and through, she's staying in the spare room, recuperating from a broken hip—and making it next to impossible for the Beckers to do the Lord's work. Calvin's pious mom is determined to save Grandma's soul, even if she's doing it through gritted teeth and deadly measures. His father's spending more and more time in his room, blasting opera to drown out the old lady's voice. And Calvin wishes things would just get back to normal so they can go on vacation and he can get close to the girl he loves. But then Calvin starts to understand Grandma a little better and appreciate her a little more. After all, misery loves company.

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Other Fiction by Frank Schaeffer

And God Said "Billy!"

"Billy!" is a darkly comic coming-of-age story written by the master story teller that House of Sand and Fog author Andre Dubus III hailed as the funniest American writer since Mark Twain. The story is set in the 1980s and is about Billy, a young fundamentalist Christian who feels called to go to Hollywood to make "God's movie." But everything goes off the rails when he accepts a job to direct a soft-porn slasher/exploitation film in apartheid-era South Africa. He makes this "It's a deal not a movie" picture even though he has to bust the US entertainment industry's anti-apartheid sanctions in hopes his "worldly movie" will be "used by God" as a "stepping stone" to making his own divinely sanctioned "End Times" picture. In the process Billy loses his fundamentalist faith, his film career, his family and more.

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“I love this novel. And God Said “Billy!” is laugh-out loud funny from page one. It’s downright insightful throughout and takes readers deep into the shallow psyche of a sincere Charismatic-Evangelical whose God fails him. That failure turns out, through a hilarious series of tragic-comic reversals, to be – let’s just say something close to miraculous.”

— Brian D. McLaren

“It is one thing to suggest, in a literary way, what an authentic spiritual seeker should be wary of and free from. It is quite another thing to articulate, in a convincing and persuasive manner, to a generation of skeptics and new atheists, why the spiritual quest is worth the doing.”

— Ron Dart Department of Political Science, Philosophy and Religious Studies at University of the Fraser Valley BC

“And God Said, “Billy! is honest, very funny and very serious. It’s sure to rankle those who believe that being human means being certain.”

— Kevin Miller director of Hellbound?

Baby Jack

Todd Ogden, an acclaimed painter with work in museums around the world and a seemingly successful thirty-year marriage to the Brahmin Sarah, is living and painting in his two-hundred-year-old Massachusetts farmhouse when his youngest child, Jack, chooses the Marines over college. Feeling puzzled and ultimately infuriated by his son's incomprehensible switch to "the other side," a situation only further aggravated by his disapproval of Jack's girlfriend Jessica, Todd ultimately turns his back on his son. Not long after the start of Gulf War II, Jack is deployed to Iraq and killed a week later, trying to end off an ambush. From this point on, Baby Jack tells the story of the family Jack leaves behind, of his parents trying to survive as their marriage shatters, of Todd's own breakdown and after-the-fact attempt to understand his son's life — and of Jessica's perseverance and the baby to whom she gives birth after Jack's death. Baby Jack is a powerful and moving human story of sacrifice and redemption, which takes its readers into a territory way beyond the everyday.

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